


Aren’t You Afraid of the Dark?

by RichieToziers



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, M/M, its real sad, minor stozier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-06 01:49:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21218573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichieToziers/pseuds/RichieToziers
Summary: It’s just really angsty Richie because I was sad





	Aren’t You Afraid of the Dark?

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun to write while also painful, enjoy

Are you afraid of the dark? You should be.

It was quiet and the moon was full as it shone through the large window in the small house. Now there were two things, Richie Tozier had never been ‘silent’ in his entire life and he rarely had his window open. But tonight was different and not a good different. Richie was sitting on his roof, smoking a cigarette, and staring up at the obsidian sky. His parents had gone to bed hours earlier but not before they had gone into Richie’s room to tell him they loved him. 

In the darkness lies secrets.

It was October of 1992 and Richie was tired, he had been losing his cheery, energetic self ever since the summer of 1989 ands he knew everyone was worried. He heard their hushed whispers about how their Trashmouth was becoming a ghost story and that Richie was a hollow shell. He tried to fake it and he always had a joke about something but they became more morbid and self-deprecating. He had spent his free time outside of his friends to figure out ways to get out of Derry without hurting anyone in the process, three years unsuccessful.

Besides secrets lies fear and fear is the root of all evil.

This town was killing him, metaphorically of course, but he knew that if he didn’t get out soon, he’d be dead. Richie was hiding and he was scared of the harsh reality that lay before him, although he couldn’t hide from everyone. Stanley Uris, his best friend, knew his secret and his fears and his dreams. Richie knew his too, at least he thought he did. It was July of 1992 when Richie lost him, and his heart shattered into pieces and some of those pieces still haven’t been mended.

The dark is the fear of the unknown and of being forgotten.

He slowly drifted away from the Losers Club because they were all happy, or at least seemed that way. He found more joy in staying in his bedroom listening to ‘Pictures of you’ by The Cure and letting his tears fall down his cheeks. No one ever called or came by to see him and he thought they had forgotten him or found someone better to fill his gap. He knew he was forgettable and annoying but even so his sobs got louder and the darkness surrounding him got so much closer.

It is nothing and everything at the same time.

Stan came over one day because his fears got the better of him, he knocked and waited but nothing came. His patience had evaporated and he had a spare key, letting himself in it was just silence and his panic overwhelmed him. He did find Richie however, in the upstairs bathroom, sitting in the bathtub, eyes red and puffy. Stan wept in relief as he climbed into the tub and pulled him into a hug, Richie let himself accept it and his entire body shook.

The dark holds peace but also suffering, you’ll never know which one.

That was three days ago and Stan hadn’t come back since, no one had. His parents were worried but they didn’t want him to break away so they held back in fear. On his roof, he found the silence peaceful instead of suffocating. Taking one last drag of his cigarette, he lets it roll off the roof and onto the ground and pulls his knees to his chest. He daydreamed of finding someone to love him, to truly love him and to be free. He wished he was a bird, so he could fly away and soar above the trees, and then maybe Stan would love him.

May you find comfort in the dark before it consumes you.

Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier died in mid October of 1992 and became Richard Tozier, hollow and swallowed whole by his fear. He still dreamed of leaving Derry but now instead of flying away, he would be led out in a cold wooden box to be put to “rest” trapped forever in the loop of disgust with himself. He wished the clown had killed him back then, maybe it would have been easier for everyone. With the love he dreamed of, he would’ve lived forever but his own self torture binded him to his own death.

Now are you afraid of the dark? You will be.


End file.
